Navigating Grief: A Teammate’s Legacy and the New Normal
In Memory of Jeff Gladney
This post is written in memory Jeff Gladney—a teammate, a friend, and a future first-round draft pick humble enough to show an aspiring walk-on offensive lineman around TCU’s campus during orientation, June of 2015. To Jeff, and all the teammates, local and abroad, we will honor in 2025 and beyond.
For athletes, a team isn’t just a group of people—it’s a family. Together, you push through grueling practices, celebrate hard-earned victories, and carry each other through defeats. So, when a teammate passes away, it feels like a part of the team—and perhaps a part of yourself—is missing.
Grief is complicated. It doesn’t follow a neat timeline, nor does it look the same for everyone. As an athlete, you might feel like you should “power through” or “stay strong.” Grieving a teammate is less about toughness and more about honoring your connection with them while finding a way to live in a new normal.
Grief Is Not Linear
Honoring connection suggests the depth of connection present. You may have heard the phrase, “time heals all wounds.” While time can soften grief, it doesn’t necessarily mean the pain goes away completely. Grief often moves in waves. One day, you might feel like yourself, and the next, something—a favorite song, a jersey hanging in a locker, or a memory of a shared laugh—brings back a flood of emotions.
This is normal. Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting, and healing doesn’t mean you won’t still have moments of sadness. The process might feel like running a race with no clear finish line. Instead of trying to reach an end, focus on what it means to keep moving forward, even when the course feels unpredictable.
The “New Normal”
Losing a teammate creates a ripple effect. Practices might feel quieter at first. Games may feel heavier for a time. You might even feel guilty when you find yourself laughing again or enjoying moments without them.
This is part of adjusting to the “new normal.” It doesn’t mean you’re leaving your teammate behind—it means you’re learning to carry their memory with you in a way that lets you live in new and meaningful ways. Perhaps you honor their legacy by giving your all on the field, supporting your teammates, or simply keeping their memory alive in conversations.
The key is to remember that moving forward doesn’t erase the bond you had. Instead, it weaves that connection into the person you are becoming. And this person—the version of you in 2025—has wisdom for you. Picture yourself looking back on this year and this challenging season. That future version of you remembers how you got through it, who helped you, and what this new living looks like. Have a conversation with them. Let what they know guide what you notice today.
It’s Okay to Feel
What you notice today may be emotion: intense emotion. Athletes are often taught to push through pain and stay focused no matter what. Emotional pain is different. Grief demands to be felt. Ignoring it or bottling it up might work for a while, and eventually, those feelings will surface, often in ways you don’t expect.
Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up—sadness, anger, confusion, or even joy when you recall a happy memory. Strong emotions are not a sign of weakness. In fact, they’re a testament to the depth of your connection with your teammate—a depth you’ll come to see more clearly in conversations with that older, wiser version of yourself.
If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone you trust—a coach, a family member, or a counselor. Sharing your feelings doesn’t mean you’re burdening others; it means you’re allowing yourself to heal.
Turning Loss Into Legacy
One of the most powerful ways to navigate grief is by channeling it into something meaningful. Maybe you dedicate a season, a game, or even the year ahead to your teammate’s memory. Maybe you carry their spirit by showing the same determination, kindness, humor, and love they brought to the team.
Grief changes you, and it doesn’t have to diminish you. Instead, it can deepen your capacity for empathy, connection, and resilience.
Families Can Help Too
Grieving the loss of a teammate is not just a team challenge—it’s a family one, too. Families play a vital role in helping their athletes process their emotions and navigate this difficult time.
As a family, you can:
Create space for conversations: Simply listening to your loved one share memories, feelings, or even confusion about the loss can help them feel seen and supported.
Model healthy grieving: It’s okay for parents or guardians to express their own sadness. When you show that it’s normal to feel a range of emotions, you’re giving permission for others to do the same.
Honor the teammate together: Whether it’s lighting a candle, writing a note, or attending a memorial event, families can participate in rituals that give meaning to the loss.
For more resources, click here.
By staying involved and supportive, you can help your athlete or loved one feel less alone in their grief.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re struggling to cope with the loss of a teammate, remember: you don’t have to do this alone. At Guyton Counseling Services, we’re here to provide a safe space to process your feelings and navigate this difficult time. Whether you need someone to talk to, tools to manage overwhelming emotions, or guidance in finding your “new normal,” we’re here to walk alongside you.
Grieving isn’t about letting go—it’s about learning how to hold on in a way that lets you keep moving forward.
Closing Reflection
What would your teammate say to you right now? How might they want you to honor their memory, both on and off the field? Take a moment today to reflect on their legacy or share a favorite memory with someone close to you.
This is a hard time, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s talking with your family, your coach, or a counselor, remember that support is always available. Together, you can move forward with the strength of your team and the love for your teammate.
